Tillifinney's Journey...Week 25!

  • By Eric Evenstad
  • 25 Jul, 2015
Join Tillifinney as we follow her fitness journey over six months, starting on April 16th, 2014. The highs, the lows, the goals, the PRs...she shares it all!

And now...Week 25!

Do you ever get really weirded out about how much your computer/phone/personal devices know about you? I’ve had one of those weeks... and here is an example of what I am talking about. One night about a month ago, our entire household (Rachel, Lauren, Beth, and I) were standing in the kitchen talking about Chick Fil A. Say what you will, but occasionally I just want a chicken sandwich or lemonade without an agenda, ok? As this conversation is happening, Rachel flips her phone around to show a Facebook ad that said that Beth and I “like” Chick Fil A. What?! How does this happen?! Sometimes it feels like my social media platforms know me better than I know myself.

Anywho, back to this week. I think most of us know Sarah, but if you don’t it’s because you’re still asleep when she’s kickin’ ass at DeCO. Sarah and I didn’t know each other too well until I asked her to play in a (what turned out to be poorly organized) softball league over the summer. Since then, she has been a pretty solid piece of my DeCO/CrossFit journey, and maybe she doesn’t even realize it... because even when Sarah is  driving the struggle bus, she shows an amazing amount of determination and commitment, which is encouraging to me. This past weekend, Sarah posted a few articles on Facebook that really spoke to me, and were exactly what I needed to hear at this point in my journey. Let’s talk about them.

Here’s this one . Maybe I’m not quite ready to talk about this one and all the feels around it yet, but it was good to read, and something that I’m going to be actively thinking about moving forward... maybe something I should have thought about earlier too. It’s a good article! Check it out!

Then, there was this one . I cried when I read it the first time. Then I reread it again and cried again. Yeah yeah, whatever. I have shed plenty of tears over CrossFit, as I’m sure we all have. Sometimes it’s just refreshing to know that one or more people have come across the same struggle or have the same demons that you do, ya know? The cool thing about this article is that it totally applies to so much more than CrossFit, and maybe that's why I have such a deep appreciation for it. Here is a quote that stood out to me, and that is so mind­blowing that you might need to
just sit own for a second. Or maybe you already knew it, I dunno. I know I sure didn’t approach anything this way before.

“To actively pursue CrossFit (or any other challenge) is to combine this “beginners’ mind” with an intention to practice.

The active intention to practice is the mindset of taking whatever challenge is placed before you and wholeheartedly applying yourself to mastering it. This means focused practice, self­awareness, patience, and determination. This is different from desire. ‘Desire is certainly focused and determined, but it is impatient and aware only of its own existence, and seeks its own satisfaction as quickly and cheaply as possible. Practice seeks mastery, where desire seeks domination.’”

Practice vs. Desire? Mind=blown. How true is this? Think of a challenge in your life right now and ask yourself if you want to master it or you want to dominate it. To some, desire may involve mastery, but I don’t necessarily see it that way. Desire and domination play out to me like there is one right way to do something and you overcome it by running over the people that are in your way. Desire in and of itself is selfish to me. You’re not asking for or accepting help and you will come out on top come hell or high water.

On the flipside, practice involves some trial and error. It involves accepting help and keeping your helpers as part of your process. It involves a degree of humility. Practice is not only knowing that you want to get better, but also knowing that how you get there may not always be the easiest. Mastery may come quickly, but maybe it will take years. Maybe you will only live a small fraction of your life in the mastery stage of any challenge, but I bet how you feel once you have mastered something is way better than how you feel after having dominated something.

Now I don’t think this is to say that there isn’t a place for both, and that the world would be full for sunshine and rainbows if more people lived their life in an effort to master their challenges. Maybe we should all just be a little more conscious about what battles we choose to fight and how we choose to fight them. Personally, I think practice and desire can exist happily in the same realm. Today I desired to dominate the benchmark retest of “Nancy” because I had practiced the skills and things I needed to be successful at that all month. Did I dominate it? No. Far from it. Which tells me I need more practice doing overhead squats and running. I’m sure I’ll get another shot to try and dominate this WOD, but until then, I’ll practice and hopefully be closer to a level of mastery for next time.

What are your opinions on this matter? I’m curious if this speaks to you as much as it did to me. What are your current challenges, and where do you see yourself with this challenge tomorrow, or next month, or a year from now?

The choice is yours, but I hope the choice you make is a thoughtful one.

Now friends, a much awaited picture update. I haven’t seen it yet because Leslie posts it on my behalf, but she says it’s the most drastic one yet. I’m nervous! This will be your last picture update until my final blog post that will happen at the end of this month. Enjoy it! Or something...

Have a great week, friends! Do something great today. I will if you will.
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